Birdsong
by GEORGEXXX
Summary: Mark awakes in the forest the morning after the plane crash. Part One of Three.


Part One: _**Birdsong**_

Mark slowly opened his eyes… he was hearing something… what was it? Background noise? No, it was much more distinct than that… the light was hurting his eyes…Suddenly, he just _knew _what the sound was…It was birdsong.

Birds? _Where am I?_, he wondered…the light was hurting his eyes… And he couldn't remember… Ah, yes. Birds. Birdsongs. _Lexie loved birds_, he remembered…_Where am I? _Birdsong kept coming from the trees. _Trees? _Trees were all around…Mark felt that something was moving him. Suddenly he felt the pain in his chest, the crushing pain in his chest…and the headache…_and those damn birds_, and their birdsongs. _Lexie was the one who loved birds_…Lexie…

Mark now remembered where he was. He was in a stretcher, being carried towards…what? _A helicopter?_ Funny how he could hear the birds from the trees with all this racket…Lexie…_Where is Lexie? _Ah…Lexie was dead. His dear Lexie was dead. _Dead and gone_, Mark suddenly thought. _Lexie is dead and nothing matters. Nothing at all. _He felt dead. _I want to die_, he thought. He thought of Callie, Arizona and Sofia…Meredith…_And where is Derek? _Where was Arizona, who had told him that she was "waiting for him"? What did that even mean? Sure, they were friends now, but still… And who was he waiting for, he wondered? Why, _Lexie, of course_.

His Lexie. His dead Lexie. His dead girlfr…_She wasn't even my girlfriend_, he thought bitterly. _What happened to her body?_ He wondered. He couldn't leave Lexie in that dark, dank hole where her broken body was laid. "Her body…" he managed to stammer out…"They've taken care of it, Mark" He heard Derek's voice as through a fog…"Don't talk anymore, please. Stay calm. You have major trauma to your chest and you need surgery _ASAP…_Rest"

_Rest?_ Lexie was dead; her body, lifeless, lying in a cold, cold slab…He couldn't think anymore…He felt like screaming, like crying out over the screeching noises of those damn birds Lexie loved so much, and the helicopter…God, the headache was killing him! Lexie was dead and _nothing_ mattered…Well, _Sofia matters_, he thought. He could put on a little show for his darling little girl, no? He could live life for her, no? A Ghost of a shell of a man; a walking Shadow, living on for his daughter, all the while wishing he was dead. _Dead like Lexie_, he thought. Dead like the love of his life.

_She knew. _He thought. _She must have known...R__ight?_ He had hopelessly told her again and again that he loved her; as her lovely eyes grew dimmer, darker...and life finally left her broken body…_I hope she believed me_, he thought. _She wanted desperately to believe me, _he pondered. _"__Meant to be"_, she said. What a laugh! He'd wasted so much precious time with her…_ Thank you for your candor_, he'd said. She had poured out her heart to him, just as he'd always wished, and he'd said _thank you for your candor_…

_I should have kissed her right there, as she stood, so cute_…He should have just ravished her over and over on the spot, whispering sweet little love nothings to her pretty ear..._Too late now_, he thought. Lexie was dead, dead and gone; his Lexie was dead. _My heart is dead_… _I love you, my love_, he thought; imagining that he was stroking Lexie's lovely dark tresses one more time…He was lost in the darkness of his thoughts; bereft of all hope..._Why Lex?...why did you leave me all alone?_

* * *

Mark opened his eyes with a startled start…the light was hurting his eyes…they slowly focused on a lovely raven-haired beauty in front of him. She had a furrowed brow in…concentration? Or was that possibly, concern? Over him? _Surely not_, thought Mark. _She looks lovely_. Mark suddenly realized who it was that was looking at him so intently. It was Lexie.

Lexie was alive, and unhurt. And she was looking at him…

"Mark, the plane's here! We're in Boise…"

"Lex?"

"Mark, you were having some sort of dream…I heard you whimpering"

"Lexie?"

"We need to get on with it, Mark! Let's get off the plane. Derek is waiting for me…"

"Lexie, you're OK?"

"Why wouldn't I be OK?"

"Lex, I…I love you"

"Huh?"

"I love you"

"_Thank you for your candor_" she said, holding a bitter laugh. "We need to get to the surgeries, Mark."

And with that retort, Lexie turned around in a huff and stepped off the plane. Mark lingered in his seat, too stunned for words…_Lexie is alive?_

He'd had a dream. A horrible nightmare that had crushed all his hopes and ripped his heart and soul from his beating chest. He felt that the oppressive anguish and anger that had crushed his chest for what felt was too damn long was lifted; he felt some _hope_ again. _OK Lex, let's get to the surgeries!_ He thought, rushing excitedly after her.

They had stayed overnight in Boise for a layover at a local motel after an exhausting day of non-stop surgeries…And they weren't done, they still had work for a couple more days, at least…

Mark stood now before Lexie's door for what felt like an eternity, wondering what he could possibly say…_I dreamt you were dead and now I want you_…It sounded ridiculous, even in his head…He knocked…

"What do you want Mark? I'm tired..._and_ sleepy and..."

"I…I need you, Lex…"

"Mark, I…"

Mark assaulted Lexie's mouth while his hands roamed her supple body. Lexie moaned, initially in protest, but soon surrendered to Mark's ardor and resolve. And Lexie's passion, which had been simmered down and repressed since her humiliating little speech to him a couple of days before, suddenly erupted violently before his advances. Mark latched on to her body like a crazed, starving man…He ripped Lexie's pants and panties off and suddenly took her, standing against the room's doorframe…Lexie grabbed Mark's hair, and he smelled, licked and kissed her neck, all the while murmuring, like a spellbound chant; "You're alive, Lex, Oh God Lex! You're alive! _I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you_…"

Mark came hard against her…Lexie shook violently all over, and slowly whispered "Mark" to his ear; he rubbed her clit rashly, and she came. She shook once more against him, and her body relaxed…Suddenly, she stood in attention, and Mark was startled out of his bliss…

"What was _that_?"

"Huh?"

"What. Was. _That_?"

"Lex, I…"

"You practically _raped_ me!"

"No I didn't!"

"What's _wrong_ with you? You've been _weird_ since the plane."

"I…I love you, Lex."

"What about Julia?"

"Lex, I don't love Julia…She's nice…but…She's not _you_."

"Mark, you need to go now, please go to your room…I need to clear my head and _think_."

"Lexie, please, don't send me away"

"Mark, I can't think with you here, OK? With you looking all…all… tall and gorgeous!"

"Gorgeous, huh?"

"Oh _shut up_, you pig!" she smiled.

"Lex?"

"Yes?"

"Please let me stay."

"OK"

He told her that night, of course. He told her about the horrible nightmare amidst the trees and birdsong; about their tearful goodbye, about her…death…And his despair…

"I'm sorry, Mark"

"I lost you, you know? I didn't want to live without you, Lexie."

"I love you, Mark Sloan"

"I know. I'm an infection, and you can't sleep or eat, right?"

"Shut up! Pig." She smiled.

"You love me"

"You're lucky, old man."

"I know."

* * *

Days passed. Then months. Then, _years_. Lexie was happy. Mark was happy…Under Derek's tutelage, Lexie became a fine neurosurgeon, and eventually was named Vice-Chair of Neurosurgery under Derek. They didn't have children, but with Zola and Sofia in their life, family life somehow felt full; fulfilled. He was _whole_ again. He was…

_Damn_. He was hearing those damned _birds_ again. That damned Birdsong…_No, No please God…_He was still in the woods, he was hearing birdsongs, and that damn helicopter…And Lexie was dead, dead and gone. "Get him to the helicopter!" Mark heard. Was that…_Burke? Burke? What is he doing here? _Suddenly, Mark heard Preston Burke say: "She has a pulse, Cristina! She has a _pulse, start ACLS NOW!"_


End file.
